You wonder, "has my past colored my behavior?" And your logic tells you, "Of course! For who and what are you, but all that your experiences have shaped you into?"
Does that mean that the paranoia, the pain, and the fear are what has made me what I am? Is that all that there is of me? Is there nothing good to pass on to the future?
Is that all bad though? Teaching the next generation to be ready? Ready to fight, to defend? To perceive and react? Is it wrong to teach them to be self-sufficient and careful of outsiders?
Or should one always be inclusive? Bringing in everyone in the hopes that they are friendly and/or loyal. Is that even responsible? Am I putting her in danger if I do that?
Balance, as my old masters taught me, is the toughest thing to learn.
I suppose I have to make more room in my cup.